Friday, January 15, 2010

I make complete strangers cry!

As the name of this post implies; I am very very bad.

After telling my bestie the story of how I made a woman, whom I had just met for the very first time, burst into tears and run from the room, my besties reaction was that it happened because that woman did not know not to ask me any emotionally sensitive questions.

Here is what happened: I was having my teeth cleaned, and the dental hygienist and I were chatting about having kids. We talked about what it was like to have kids home from college, and she stated that it was nice when they went back to school. (BTW - I kinda hope I'll feel that way when the time comes, even though it sounds horrible to say that. What - now I'm all touchy feely?) It was a nice chat, but all of a sudden she just starts whining in a slow, nasal, baby voice which was not her natural voice from a minute earlier.
She has younger kids too, and she gets lonely because she only works part time, and the kids are at school, and they don't like the bus, and her daughter sucks in sports, and the husband (#2) works all the time, and his job is stressful so he is always cranky and tired and irritable, and she has to travel all over the state for sports, and her youngest can't get ready for school by herself, and her husband just gets mad when she tries to tell him how she feels, and he should talk to her and want to be with her.... Why doesn't he? she asks. Why can't he be happy to see her? Why when she is alone all the time, with only the kids, can't he understand that she needs adult interaction with him? Why does he not find her attractive anymore? Why? Why? Why?

This all comes at me in one long monologue, while she is cleaning my teeth. She asks 7-10 rhetorical (now that I'm thinking about it) questions in the same vane before finally removing all implements from my mouth, and for some reason looks at me expectantly.

This is where I should have said; "MEN! They Suck!" But I did not say that. Instead I said;

"Well, you do come across as a bit whiny!"
Yeah, that's right, I said it.
She sucked in her breath, her face turned bright red, and she ran away.
And I had done it again.
So this makes me think that I should somehow walk around wearing some kind of a warning.Maybe something like this written on my shirt?
WARNING!
I answer questions without any thought!
People have been known to burst into tears!
Proceed with conversation, and
ask questions of my opinion,
at your own peril!
You've been warned!
I could wear a shirt with that on it, and when the situation calls for it I could just open up my coat and warn innocents of my mouth!
PS. I stand by what I said. She was a whiny, annoying woman who would make any man work late and act irritable. If she had better Besties they would have told her so a long time ago.
So THERE!

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