“There is no substitute for time in the saddle.”

“Patience and time do more than strength or passion.” (Fontaine) I love that quote, even as a chronic rusher, I love that quote. It is one of my many mantras, sayings and quotes that I pull out of my hat when needed. And it is one that I tend to remind myself of often as I strive to become a better equestrian.

“Time – take it” I say to myself when I wonder when (will it happen), how soon (until we get it), how long (will it take) and how many (times do we have to do this). The answer is, of course, “who the heck knows!” It’s going take the time it’s going to take. Few things with horses can be rushed, and anyone who has tried to rush a horse has found that it’s kind of like rushing a man or a child; you just slow yourself down more. (My apologies to the opposite gender, but you do tend to put the brakes on whenever we try to get you to hurry. You don’t even wear make-up or do your hair, why are we the ones waiting at the door?) .

The most important tool to use in conjunction with anything else you are doing is time. Take the time, because it is going to take some time. A former Trainer, a very wise woman, told me often that

  “there is no substitute for time in the saddle.” 

For anyone who started riding as an adult this statement really hits home. I see a comfort level in riders that started young, a balance and certain comfort in the saddle that only comes with experience. The Trainer also meant that no matter how the ride went, you were riding and the horse was ridden and so there is value there. When I prepare for a ride, or a lesson, I think about what I want to work on, but I quickly remind myself not to put pressure on whether it will work out. I have goals, a timeline, but not a deadline.

"When are you starting your young horse?"

 "When are you starting over fences?"

"Does your horse have a flying lead change yet?"

"When do you think you will move up to 2nd level?"

"Are you going rated yet?"

 These questions are really all about time. 

       We determine our success based on where we are on our goals list, while our horses only know when you were supposed to feed them! Pippi learns things at her own pace, and all I can do is look for clues as to what she is ready for. I learn at my own pace, and all Pippi can do is hope that I catch up to her at some point. She doesn’t put too much pressure on me, and I appreciate that. She sure is happy when I pick up a new skill, and gives me lots of praise, but she has yet to stomp away from a ride disappointed that it didn’t live up to expectations. She gives me all the time I need, and I do the same for her.

What are your goals? Mine is to keep riding, maybe show if the opportunity arrives, and to enjoy my time riding. Riding is my “Me-time” after all.

Will your horse pull away if you become the boss?

 Recently I heard a trainer say to a rider during a clinic: “Every step belongs to you.”

Those words floated around me like a mist, settling into every nook and cranny of my brain, and I could clearly see the transformation of Pippi and I, as a team.

When we first started, or even before that, when I was the show mom and just sat on Pippi from time to time, Pippi was so clearly in charge of each and every step. When I started really riding, we had a bit of a leadership battle. Pippi was in charge, and we both knew it. We also knew that this would have to change, but neither of us knew how. I worried about what this shift would do to us; could we still have fun and be us if I bossed her around? Would Pippi resent it?

My secret fear was that Pippi would shut down, and shut me out, and that I would no longer feel a closeness to her. I realize that some of this will sound totally ridiculous, but I don’t care. Once I started to “hear” Pippi, I was loathe to lose that, and yet I wanted us to grow as a team. I made the decision that if I ever felt that our training was driving a wedge between us, something would have to change. My closest friends heard me ponder and question, and more than one remarked that this sounded just like a parenting problem. I admit to not liking this, as I really hate it when someone calls me Pippis “mom.” (I have two kids! Pippi is my partner, my teammate, my four legged side kick.)

But as I sat there watching this lesson, with “every step belongs to you” bouncing its way around my noggin, I realized that we had freaking done it. Pippi and I had come out the other end, and we were okay. We had realigned our partnership, and we were still intact. She is still a silly mare with strange rules like “two feet = one treat” and she still piaffes on her own when excited. I still insist on hugging her too long, and she is still smarter and knows first when the hug should be over. I still sing to her, and a portion of the song from "Yentl" lends itself quite well if you change “Papa” to Pippi.

I remember,  Pippi – everything you taught me

What you gave me, Pippi

Look at what it’s brought me!

Looking back I feel a little foolish, but I blame it on that nervous feeling everyone gets in a new relationship. Is she going to still be my friend if I show her my bossy side? Can you be respected and loved all at the same time? Turns out you can, if you are willing to wait, be patient and always do everything from a place of mutual respect. Pippi and I are not the same, things have changed, and I will not claim that our relationship is better. It’s just as good, but in a new and working way. I still hear her, and sometimes she still gives me some ‘tude, but we are team with me as the team leader.

We still play around a lot :) 

Doc, Give it to me straight!

An old blog from years ago:

Pippi injured her left fore tendon last September, and we just started back under saddle in late December. Pippi is switching from Hunters to Dressage (due to the injury), and we are just starting lessons in our new discipline.

Last night as I was tossing and turning, and my mind raced from topic to topic, and it occurred to me, I’m pretty sure I told my Doctor during that days appointment that “I had not been lame at all.”

Now let me explain. I am suffering (read: irritated beyond reason) from tennis elbow, or severe tendinitis, in my right elbow and have been for a few weeks now. There is a knot on the tendon, and it hurts. Radiating pain into forehand, ahem, fore arm and fingers. So while laying in bed last night, and chuckling at myself, my imagination ran wild thinking of a conversation between my mare and my doctor:

“Doc, could you please take a look at my Human? She isn’t lame, and hasn’t been, but seems to be favoring her right fore.”

“Okay, when did you first notice this?”

“It was right after I got her back in the saddle. I’ve been off nursing my own injury, bowed tendon, since early September, and we just started riding again right before Christmas. I gots to tell ya, that Human is hard to train, so I was just checking her balance in the saddle, by doing a quick few sidesteps to the right. You know, just making sure she was awake up there, and she did quite well, but I heard some cursing and choice words. Seems she thinks the hens spooked me, but I tell ya it was just a balance check, and then she complained about her elbow.”

“Well, there is a knot right here at the “elbow.” Which seems to make her pull back when I touch it. No heat, but I can tell she is also tender all the way up the fore here. Let me show you here on this graph what we are looking at. See the tendon running on the top outside of the elbow? That’s where the injury has occurred.”

“How did it happen do you think?”

“Well, more likely it was from over use. I don’t see any signs on trauma, no bruising, or lacerations, so…”

“Do you think she may have been kicked? Or is it from just being out of shape? Probably should have started her back slower huh?”

“I think it was more likely caused by non-equine activities. You know how they are away from the stables, you just can’t keep ’em safe all the time. I have seen this sort of thing before, Humans just cannot be relied upon to use good judgment and they sit in front of those screens causing these types on injuries by incessantly making that clicking sound on those weird little boards.”

“Oh crap, I really thought this was going to be our year. Whats the prognosis? Am I going to have to look for another Human for the season, or is it even worse than that? Do I have to put her down?”

“Not as bad as all that, Pippi, but its gonna take some work. Please keep a steady supply of Ibuprofen in her bloodstream, give it to her with her feed, and then cold hose after activity. Don’t over do it, and take lots of breaks, encourage her to stretch and flex fingers and maybe have her use her left lead more than her right. In a month or so you should see marked improvement. Call me if you have any questions.”

“Alright Doc, I tell you, if its not one thing its another. Makes me really wonder you know? Maybe the amount of time I spend on her……. well, but I love her. She probably won’t amount to much, but she’s my forever human, so I’ll take care of her and hope for the best. Tell me, she is 42 now, how many good years do you think I’ll get our of her?”

“Hard to tell Pip. With good feed and care, you could see a lot of good years, but it all depends on what they do away from the stables. And you can’t control that.”

“Well, ain’t that the truth?”

FLIP FLOP away!

I am a “Flip-Flopper” and I don’t care who knows it! I don’t care because I am proud of it, and furthermore I think you should be one too. Flip Flop away! Announce your strong feelings from the mountain top, and then when you flip flop announce your new stands just as loud and proud.

The term “flip flopper” is used often in politics and has a negative connotation, and no doubt we will hear it a lot in the coming year here in the USA (blech!). But as I see it, most times being a “flip flopper” is a positive thing. Unless of course you flip with the wind, and have no real stands at all. But if you take a position based on current knowledge, skill and circumstance, and then totally “flip flop” when any of those things change, that is great. Go for it.

Let me give you an example: side reins! I didn’t like them and thought that it was a gadget that forced the horse into the position rather than do the training necessary to encourage it naturally. And so I tried to ”encourage it” naturally, for a long time, and Pippi was annoyed with my constant nagging and we were playing the up/down game. Asked Trainer, who said “try side reins in the most open setting” and begrudgingly tried them to find that Pippi prefers the constant suggestion rather than the irritating nudge. FLIP FLOPPED!

There are those people who seem like they flip flop as a matter of whom they are speaking with at the time, and that is not actually being a flip flopper. They are just indecisive people. Real Flip Floppers take a stand and make a reasoned argument for the decision they have made. They do the research, maybe even do some trial and error, and make sure that what they find fits their circumstances. And, this is a crucial part in being a good flip flopper, they keep an open mind!

When, and if, they find that something has changed, they are willing to change their mind. Maybe they learned something new that altered things, or they have a new horse, or want to try a new discipline or they just had a lightbulb go off and realized that they had been wrong. There are many examples of things in the equestrian world you can and, perhaps, should flip flop about: Barefoot vs horse shoes, natural horsemanship techniques, supplements, tack, bitless riding, classical vs. competition, long format vs short format…. I could go on and on.

But when you do flip flop, please admit it! When people call you out and say (in that universally snarky “call you out voice”), “I thought you hated side reins,” just go ahead and tell them that you flip flopped. You were wrong. You changed your mind. You flip flopped. And you know what? You may do it again.

There is a really big chance that I will change my mind about a whole host of things, and I am proud of my ability to do so.
 I am not offended when anyone disagrees with me and my methods, and unless they get rude, I welcome the opportunity to discuss it. Rarely do I learn from those that agree with me, but often from those that don’t. And what I learn and discard today, may be what I use tomorrow. It all goes in my toolbox of knowledge, and I will flip flop my way through that box as Pippi and I happily continue to learn and grow.

Oh the drama .....

The other night someone was chatting about how "everyone just keeps talking about her." I think a lot of us have been there, hearing this and that, and feeling persecuted by the local community. As I was  grooming and massaging Pippi later that day, I just kept going back to one thought; how does she know people are talking? And it brought me back to something that happened to me years ago, that really taught me a valuable lesson.

My daughter and I had been affiliated with a local barn for a few years, and my daughter was even helping the barns trainer as an "apprentice." Everything was going great, but there was suddenly this weird tension in the air. My daughter started feeling like the trainer didn't like her as well anymore, and some of the other girls were subtly distancing themselves from her. My friend. who owned that barn, finally leveled with me, sharing that the Trainer had some sort of problem with my teen daughter. Its been years now, and I can't recall exactly what the issue was, but whatever it was it seemed to get worse as my daughter felt left out. She was no longer a priority and felt that she was left to compete tired horses at shows that had nothing in the tank after lugging other riders along all day. (although an "apprentice" that was in status only, and we paid the same as the other riders. It just meant that she was more experienced and could help the younger riders with tacking etc, and she helped trainer school horses) This continued for a while, with barn owner telling me that she definitely saw that my daughter was getting shafted. After one horrendous show, my husband I decided it was time to perhaps find a lease horse and a new barn for our daughter.

Long story short; we found Pippi, and we were over the moon about it!

First we leased her, and then purchased her. It was such an exciting time, but for one thing. We were now boarding at a different barn, but still local, and were showing at the same little local horseshow as before. We were so proud to take our little green paint to her first show, but the reception my daughter received from the old barn crew was cold to say the least.

My friend, owner of the previous barn, soon filled me in. It seemed the old Trainer really had a problem with my daughter. She felt that Pippi was totally the wrong horse for us, that my daughter was not in any way ready to train Pippi and that neither my daughter or our new horse was worth a lick. Nor would we ever be any competition to them!

"Look B, shit done got real!" allright....

How dare she try to ruin my daughters first show with her new horse? I fired on all cylinders! After everything my daughter did for her? Who does she think she is? She is not that great a trainer anyway!

and on and on it went. She said, we said, she said we said........ ad nauseum. Tensions and discord abounded ....

Distance was created to the point that my daughter no longer associating with those girls, and we hardly ever saw them other than at that little horse show. Then we started going to other shows thanks to a new friend that hauled us, and that we had a blast with. But still we heard things....years went by....

Then one day I read this: 

Friend, don't tell me what my enemies say about me.

Friend, tell me why they are so comfortable sharing that with you.

At this point I had taken over the ride on Pippi, I no longer had a friendship with that old barn Owner, and that Trainer had started her own barn. One day on my way to my barn the trainer was driving her big truck ahead of me down a country lane. This was my chance to clear the air, and I felt calm and ready. I blinked my lights, and honked my horn, and the first chance she got she pulled over. She jumped out of the truck thinking something was wrong, and sort of blanched when she saw me.


I can't imagine what she thought!

I took a deep breath and said "hey, thanks for stopping, I just think it's high time that we talk and clear the air." or something to that effect. She seemed amenable, so I went on explaining my point of view. It seemed to me that maybe she didn't actually say all the things I had been told she said, and that perhaps that meant that she was told that I said things I hadn't said as well. I based this theory on the quote above, and a run in I had with the Barn Owners husband where he accused me of saying all kinds of things about him and their marriage. It was impossible since I had not seen either of them in over six months, and we had no common associates at all, plus what would I know about them?

So I told Trainer, I think we were both told things by the Barn Owner, that made us react and say things. We didn't go into detail, but it was clear it started with her saying my daughter and I had a problem with her. And then Barn Owner would go back and forth adding and inflaming things over and over again. Talking about it to all and sundry who would inflame it further and, effectively whipping up the drama. I said that some of the things she had heard was true, but said in reaction to what I was told, and the rest was all horse manure!

We both said sorry, we hugged and put all the animosity behind us. I think we both left with lighter hearts. We are not friends, and I have not seen her since, but I wish her well. It was a valuable lesson for us both I dare say.

So what's the moral of the story:

When someone says that someone said something about you, don't take the bait. A good friend doesn't tell you about it, but shuts it down without you being told at all.

I have also had this scenario where someone says something like"can you believe she went to 4 shows over 4 weekends?" and I respond "wow, that's a lot." and then that person is told "she thinks you go to too many shows." Ever been there?

Anyway, I have learned not to put any stock into what I am told others are saying, but I do take notice about who is telling me about it.

Love yourself to Betterment!

This is what I am working towards. I never realized that loving my body had to come first, before the taking care of it with exercise etc. I thought I’d love it when/if I got fit and it looked better to me. But that mindset was faulty, and it never was a strong enough force to spur me to work on it. But taking care of something you love; that is a powerful drive.#newjourney #loveyourself #takecareofyou#poweredbylove

How do you feel about your physical self?

I know..... even the question makes me tired. My mind shuts down in some instinctual protective way, to shield me from the pain of answering, and delving into this pool of dismay. And why is that? Why is it that we run from doing our own harsh self assessments? If I asked a friend that question, I think her answer would be: "I know I shouldn't feel this way, but...."

What are the chances that the end of that sentence, is: "....., but I love it!" Yeah right..... More likely she would say: "I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I just feel so fat." Or "out of shape," or any other less than positive description.

I asked a few friends just to make sure I was on the right track, and here are their answers:

"Fat Belly."

"Lazy" same person: "Is that a good answer?"

"Meh. Need to be in better physical shape."

I'm not sure why I started pondering my own feelings about my own body. Last year I turned 48. I also lost a person that was essentially important to me, and the idea that I was taking my health for granted took root. Being an overthinker, I did that. Coming out of the shower one day, I looked at myself in a full length mirror and felt nothing good. I looked at myself for a long time, and thought

 "what is wrong with you?" 

My body works as designed. I was given this perfectly great body that works just like it needs to, and I am taking it for granted. Worse than that; I am squandering it by not celebrating my good fortune, and by not caring for it well.

"Well that's no good" I thought. Over the next few weeks the feeling persisted. I was not caring well for my body. I didn't exercise enough, and I was unwilling to make any real sacrifices for the benefit of my health. I ate crap foods, and although active I didn't really make conscious choices with the health of my body in mind. Well I am no longer going to do that.

I love my body! 

And its high time that I live in a way that honors that! Here we go! 

My experience with Positude

As you may know, my mare Pippi has been struggling with back pain seemingly associated with her cycles. We have seen Vets, tried a number of treatments and some have been more effective than others. Basically she has some genetic back issues, tends to have very tight muscles and, her cycles are seemingly quite painful.

Regumate -  worked great as it distrupts estrus, ie shuts down the cycles. Cumbersome as it is toxic to humans (which makes me leery of long term use for Pippi), and expensive. $224.95 for 100 days

DepoProvera shots - we did 7cc every 21 days, trying to time it right (so it hits within 2 days of the cycle). Less expensive than Regumate. Didn't have to ask Barn owners to handle like with Regumate, which was nice. It worked, but there is a quick tapering off and so she feels great, and then gradually worse until the next shot. A barn environment is not clean, so there is always a risk of infections with needles and shots. Pippi does not mind shots, as long as you don't try to sneak it by her.

Raspberry Leaves - 2/3 cup once per day pure organic leaves, I fed these for quite a while and I can't really say it helped.

Positude- 
I found out about Positude from Marcilyn,  Equine Massage Therapist, that has helped us tremendously by teaching me how to help with Pippis locked and sore muscles. She had read an article about Equine Elixirs that mentioned that they were coming out with a new product: POSITUDE!

"Positude™ is made from highly concentrated plant, berry and root extracts, while other products are made from powders. Positude™ is more effective because extracts contain only concentrated active ingredients, while powders consist of many inactive and inert elements resulting in a less effective product.

• All natural
• Contains no prohibited substances
• Safe to handle
• No injections
• Helps maintain even hormone levels via daily delivery system
• Picky eater approved"

The above is directly from their website. The ingredients in Positude are pictured on their site, and  are Chaste Tree Berry, Raspberrry leaves, and Dong Quai. Liz, the inventor also listed them during a radio interview with The Plaid Horse Podcast.

I contacted Liz, who I spoke with personally in late November 2018, and she kindly allowed me to purchase two months worth of Positude. They had yet to launch the product, but were in production.

Two bottles, just like the one pictured, arrived, and instead of doing the next shot of Depo I switched to Positude. We did 10 days of the loading dose of 1oz, and then stepped down to the maintenance dose of 1/2 oz per feeding. Pippi seemed to respond to this product very very well. Her back was less sore, she moved easier and stepped further under herself, she no longer tightened her back when I palpated it, her muscles were softer and more pliable all over, and she was less spooky and anxious. SUCCESS!! WOOHOO! End of story! Thanks for reading, that's all folks......

Only of course, it wasn't, because not long after switching to the maintenance dose, Pippi started showing signs that she was in pain ......again. She was stiff and sore, even though I had continued the muscle massages and stretches. She was ducking away from pressure on her back and she was spooking a lot more again. I contacted Liz at Equine Elixirs, who was once again very attentive and we discussed what the issue could be. Liz said that the vast majority of horses respond perfectly fine to the maintenance dose, but that a very few had to be kept at the higher daily dose in order to see results. It didn't surprise me that Pippi would be in that category as she is a very muscular and strong mare. I mean my farrier thought she was a stallion that had been gelded late, when he first saw her.  

So....... 

A 120 oz bottle of Positude costs $199.96 and I am estimating shipping around $20. So Positude would cost me $100+ per month. 

Four months of Depo Provera costs me $95, no shipping, so about $24 per month. 

SmartPak has a product called SmartMare Harmony with similar ingredients in a pellet form. I have no way of knowing the amounts contained in the Positude, but as a rule extracts are more potent as they contain no fillers. SmartMare Harmony also hasa lot more ingredients, and a lot of "Inactive Ingredients" that may water down the effectiveness. It costs $33.12 for 28 days shipped in Smartpaks. 

So, here in the real world......

 I am already at the top of my horse budget and I just can't spend $100+ every month on Positude. I'd love to, but it is just not fair to the rest of my life.... If you can afford it, I would recommend Positude. I'd love to give it a try now that heat season is coming back, but there is no need to see how much it would help as I can't afford to keep doing it. My decision to not continue with Positude has nothing to do with the product, which I had success with, and is solely based on my own finances and budget. 

For now I am trying SmartMare Harmony, and if that is a no go, we are going back to Depo and good days and bad days. And life goes on.....

Just my thoughts......

Opinion coming at ya:
A few months ago I ran into an acquaintance, who has an equine business, that was super annoyed, and told me what had her so riled up. The gist of it was that she received a phone call from a rider who wanted her to come to her barn to provide the service for her. It was a bit of a drive, so the provider would be charging a larger trip fee, but had good news for the caller. She explained the trip fee, but said "I have another client at your barn, and she has been waiting for someone else to want me to come out, I'll give her a call and then you can split the trip fee with her." To the providers surprise the caller did not want her to do that. She explained that she didn't want to "Split her appointment," and that she "wanted the focus to be on her and her horse." The provider assured her the appointment would not be shorter, and that she would take care to let the other boarder know not to approach her until she was done, and that this would save them both some money. But the caller would not be swayed, saying that "if "Betty" doesn't have the money to pay for her own trip out, that is not my problem." In the end the provider did call the other boarder, asking her to arrive at barn quite early, did her horse first and did not charge her a trip fee. She just said "no fee as I am going to be in the area anyway," and did not tell the boarder what had happened. (I know right? I bet there was some barn drama after that huh?) 

get it? hahaha

Now, let's be clear, as my mom used to say "assholes and saints are everywhere." But this story illustrates that those who live a little tighter financially, would probably appreciate the consideration of other riders. Sure you have the right to want and get what you want if you can afford it, but just keep in mind that being kind and considerate is priceless. Think about the financial needs of your fellow equestrians before you pick a hotel, a restaurant, a show, extras for a trip. Especially when a group is going, and make sure that it fits the budgets for all involved so that all can be relaxed and have a fun time together. Just because you have the funds, or may be willing to whip out the credit card, please don't expect your companions to be in the same boat. Be up front about costs, try to keep overall costs down, and if costs are shared leave out the extravagant extras. Not all has to be split. If you want that extra whatever, allow others to say "no thanks" with all cost information available, and pay for those things separately. An added cost of $100 may not be a big deal for some, but many people have their budgets planned down to the $1. 

Think of everyone when planning and try not to "price anyone out." Most people I know would be happy to share the trip fee, and that's the only time I have heard of anyone refusing outright. Maybe there are other reasons we don't know about behind the refusal (the other boarder being a lot to handle, butting in, etc). But I have heard many riders upset about costs being higher than they needed to be for shows, clinics etc. And being charged for things that they didn't want, use or expect. That's not cool! 

Just my thoughts......