Will your horse pull away if you become the boss?

 Recently I heard a trainer say to a rider during a clinic: “Every step belongs to you.”

Those words floated around me like a mist, settling into every nook and cranny of my brain, and I could clearly see the transformation of Pippi and I, as a team.

When we first started, or even before that, when I was the show mom and just sat on Pippi from time to time, Pippi was so clearly in charge of each and every step. When I started really riding, we had a bit of a leadership battle. Pippi was in charge, and we both knew it. We also knew that this would have to change, but neither of us knew how. I worried about what this shift would do to us; could we still have fun and be us if I bossed her around? Would Pippi resent it?

My secret fear was that Pippi would shut down, and shut me out, and that I would no longer feel a closeness to her. I realize that some of this will sound totally ridiculous, but I don’t care. Once I started to “hear” Pippi, I was loathe to lose that, and yet I wanted us to grow as a team. I made the decision that if I ever felt that our training was driving a wedge between us, something would have to change. My closest friends heard me ponder and question, and more than one remarked that this sounded just like a parenting problem. I admit to not liking this, as I really hate it when someone calls me Pippis “mom.” (I have two kids! Pippi is my partner, my teammate, my four legged side kick.)

But as I sat there watching this lesson, with “every step belongs to you” bouncing its way around my noggin, I realized that we had freaking done it. Pippi and I had come out the other end, and we were okay. We had realigned our partnership, and we were still intact. She is still a silly mare with strange rules like “two feet = one treat” and she still piaffes on her own when excited. I still insist on hugging her too long, and she is still smarter and knows first when the hug should be over. I still sing to her, and a portion of the song from "Yentl" lends itself quite well if you change “Papa” to Pippi.

I remember,  Pippi – everything you taught me

What you gave me, Pippi

Look at what it’s brought me!

Looking back I feel a little foolish, but I blame it on that nervous feeling everyone gets in a new relationship. Is she going to still be my friend if I show her my bossy side? Can you be respected and loved all at the same time? Turns out you can, if you are willing to wait, be patient and always do everything from a place of mutual respect. Pippi and I are not the same, things have changed, and I will not claim that our relationship is better. It’s just as good, but in a new and working way. I still hear her, and sometimes she still gives me some ‘tude, but we are team with me as the team leader.

We still play around a lot :) 

Doc, Give it to me straight!

An old blog from years ago:

Pippi injured her left fore tendon last September, and we just started back under saddle in late December. Pippi is switching from Hunters to Dressage (due to the injury), and we are just starting lessons in our new discipline.

Last night as I was tossing and turning, and my mind raced from topic to topic, and it occurred to me, I’m pretty sure I told my Doctor during that days appointment that “I had not been lame at all.”

Now let me explain. I am suffering (read: irritated beyond reason) from tennis elbow, or severe tendinitis, in my right elbow and have been for a few weeks now. There is a knot on the tendon, and it hurts. Radiating pain into forehand, ahem, fore arm and fingers. So while laying in bed last night, and chuckling at myself, my imagination ran wild thinking of a conversation between my mare and my doctor:

“Doc, could you please take a look at my Human? She isn’t lame, and hasn’t been, but seems to be favoring her right fore.”

“Okay, when did you first notice this?”

“It was right after I got her back in the saddle. I’ve been off nursing my own injury, bowed tendon, since early September, and we just started riding again right before Christmas. I gots to tell ya, that Human is hard to train, so I was just checking her balance in the saddle, by doing a quick few sidesteps to the right. You know, just making sure she was awake up there, and she did quite well, but I heard some cursing and choice words. Seems she thinks the hens spooked me, but I tell ya it was just a balance check, and then she complained about her elbow.”

“Well, there is a knot right here at the “elbow.” Which seems to make her pull back when I touch it. No heat, but I can tell she is also tender all the way up the fore here. Let me show you here on this graph what we are looking at. See the tendon running on the top outside of the elbow? That’s where the injury has occurred.”

“How did it happen do you think?”

“Well, more likely it was from over use. I don’t see any signs on trauma, no bruising, or lacerations, so…”

“Do you think she may have been kicked? Or is it from just being out of shape? Probably should have started her back slower huh?”

“I think it was more likely caused by non-equine activities. You know how they are away from the stables, you just can’t keep ’em safe all the time. I have seen this sort of thing before, Humans just cannot be relied upon to use good judgment and they sit in front of those screens causing these types on injuries by incessantly making that clicking sound on those weird little boards.”

“Oh crap, I really thought this was going to be our year. Whats the prognosis? Am I going to have to look for another Human for the season, or is it even worse than that? Do I have to put her down?”

“Not as bad as all that, Pippi, but its gonna take some work. Please keep a steady supply of Ibuprofen in her bloodstream, give it to her with her feed, and then cold hose after activity. Don’t over do it, and take lots of breaks, encourage her to stretch and flex fingers and maybe have her use her left lead more than her right. In a month or so you should see marked improvement. Call me if you have any questions.”

“Alright Doc, I tell you, if its not one thing its another. Makes me really wonder you know? Maybe the amount of time I spend on her……. well, but I love her. She probably won’t amount to much, but she’s my forever human, so I’ll take care of her and hope for the best. Tell me, she is 42 now, how many good years do you think I’ll get our of her?”

“Hard to tell Pip. With good feed and care, you could see a lot of good years, but it all depends on what they do away from the stables. And you can’t control that.”

“Well, ain’t that the truth?”

FLIP FLOP away!

I am a “Flip-Flopper” and I don’t care who knows it! I don’t care because I am proud of it, and furthermore I think you should be one too. Flip Flop away! Announce your strong feelings from the mountain top, and then when you flip flop announce your new stands just as loud and proud.

The term “flip flopper” is used often in politics and has a negative connotation, and no doubt we will hear it a lot in the coming year here in the USA (blech!). But as I see it, most times being a “flip flopper” is a positive thing. Unless of course you flip with the wind, and have no real stands at all. But if you take a position based on current knowledge, skill and circumstance, and then totally “flip flop” when any of those things change, that is great. Go for it.

Let me give you an example: side reins! I didn’t like them and thought that it was a gadget that forced the horse into the position rather than do the training necessary to encourage it naturally. And so I tried to ”encourage it” naturally, for a long time, and Pippi was annoyed with my constant nagging and we were playing the up/down game. Asked Trainer, who said “try side reins in the most open setting” and begrudgingly tried them to find that Pippi prefers the constant suggestion rather than the irritating nudge. FLIP FLOPPED!

There are those people who seem like they flip flop as a matter of whom they are speaking with at the time, and that is not actually being a flip flopper. They are just indecisive people. Real Flip Floppers take a stand and make a reasoned argument for the decision they have made. They do the research, maybe even do some trial and error, and make sure that what they find fits their circumstances. And, this is a crucial part in being a good flip flopper, they keep an open mind!

When, and if, they find that something has changed, they are willing to change their mind. Maybe they learned something new that altered things, or they have a new horse, or want to try a new discipline or they just had a lightbulb go off and realized that they had been wrong. There are many examples of things in the equestrian world you can and, perhaps, should flip flop about: Barefoot vs horse shoes, natural horsemanship techniques, supplements, tack, bitless riding, classical vs. competition, long format vs short format…. I could go on and on.

But when you do flip flop, please admit it! When people call you out and say (in that universally snarky “call you out voice”), “I thought you hated side reins,” just go ahead and tell them that you flip flopped. You were wrong. You changed your mind. You flip flopped. And you know what? You may do it again.

There is a really big chance that I will change my mind about a whole host of things, and I am proud of my ability to do so.
 I am not offended when anyone disagrees with me and my methods, and unless they get rude, I welcome the opportunity to discuss it. Rarely do I learn from those that agree with me, but often from those that don’t. And what I learn and discard today, may be what I use tomorrow. It all goes in my toolbox of knowledge, and I will flip flop my way through that box as Pippi and I happily continue to learn and grow.