Tuesday, November 8, 2011

What I learn..(not really a horse post)

Blogging, both reading others and writing my own, has taught me so much. Much about horses, but also much about myself. My experiences with humans in the horse world,  and my job has given me a hard edge that I am not sure I like. But how does one turn back?

Recently I commented on a blog post written by Kelly at Princess Diva Diaries, and after reading my own comment I was shocked to realize that I can be a bit callous. Kelly was writing about the uncomfortable switch from one trainer to another, and about whether she should respond to the previous trainers seemingly terse response to being dropped. I wrote that Kelly should make sure she stated what she wanted in her email, and that unless she regretted writing something or felt that she left something out, should leave well enough alone. Although I agree with myself, I started thinking about how I have changed.
Years ago, before current job in Social Services, and Before Pippi, my response would have been different. I now seem to have the attitude "oh, well, if they have a problem they should bring it up" whereas I used to think "I should talk to them about it."

What changed? My feelings about people!

Yesterday I spent the day in a small rural court house, waiting to be called as a witness to a Child Abuse and Neglect case. I was subpoenaed by the Prosecuting Attorney due to this Defendant being a former client of mine. All day case after case was brought up; a never ending parade of defendants walked to the gallows and had their cases either heard (1) or moved to December 5th at 9am. (Yes -all those cases at the same time! No wonder I was there all day!)

There is a lot of client drama in my job (14 years in social services), and having Pippi and Boarding her has at times been quite dramatic as well. The fancy facility that we were at this spring was a nightmare; the manager was the sweetest little liar anyone could ever have the pleasure to meet, another boarder was a little shit stirrer, and meanwhile horses were underfed, feed was stolen, water buckets hardly ever filled, stalls left filthy, and horses left out unfed for hours (once in a huge storm). We moved! In the riding club there is never ending drama, and so I pulled out of that.

All of his has changed me, and I no longer feel as good about people as I used to. But I miss my old sweet attitude. I miss thinking well of people, and believing that people are essentially good. I don't think that now. Reading blogs are restoring some of my faith. People trying to do the right thing for their animals; Kelly worrying about her situation with former Trainer, reading about the meticulous care Chrome gets and his clicker training, and Amy falling off yet getting back to riding, warms my heart. And all the other blogs I read as well.
 So thank you so much for that. And if I sometimes sound hard or calloused in my posts, or in my comments, please call me on it. This is something I want to work on. I don't want to lose faith due to seeing a lot of crap, or hearing more likely, and I hope to find ways to turn back to a more positive frame of mind.


  1. I think we would be great friends if we got to hang at the same barn! I liked the advice you gave me - I didn't get the feeling you were being calloused. In the end, we have to do what is right for us and our ponies. It is always nice to have blog friends take your side.

    Oh...and I love your cartoon :)

  2. Thanks Kelly. I think we would be friends too. We could have taken our look alikes out riding with our daughters.

  3. Count me in! When are we opening this dream barn where we can all board our horses together?? :D

    You know I've noticed that about myself as well. I can be a total pushover and tend to let other people walk all over me, so I actually worked toward having a tougher skin and being more callous. Crazy right?? Now that I'm an assistant manager at my job though it is so necessary.

    I think it definitely has it's place and uses because being pushed around is no fun at all. We have to stand up for our horses because in a human's world they can't do it for themselves.

    If it makes you feel any better I've never noticed you coming off as callous in your blog or comments. :) I think you're really nice, helpful and fun. I love reading your blog and comments. :)

  4. Thank you, what great compliments.
    I think writing this blog is a true gift to myself, and reading others is just wonderful. And hubby now doesn't have to get horse overload.

    I need a shopping partner for tack stores Friday, anyone wanna go? Lol

  5. As assistant manager you will need a tough attitude and thick skin, but I bet you are doing great at it. Do you ever consider clicker training your employees? Lol

  6. HAHAHA that is so great! I should try it. Sadly most humans are only money motivated and I don't think I can afford to clicker train them that way. :D

    I wish I could go, but I have to work Friday. *sniffle* ;)


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