Monday, January 3, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
A brand new year
A new year with all kinds of possibilities. It's like being given a new coloring book and a box of crayons; no telling what creative art will take shape on the blank pages. I for one am EXCITED!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Love your mama
On most days I don't think about the fact that I don't have a mom, although I do think about my mom on most days. The reality of not having a mom has become part of my reality, but once in a while I get really jealous and I want a mom more than anything.
My friends who have moms are so lucky, in most cases. Sure there are moms that are nothin' but trouble, but for the most part having a mom is a really great thing. Especially having one near by. I can't imagine how different my life would have been if my mom was still alive. I think of all the things we would have enjoyed together, how we would have shared our lives and had so much fun together. How we would have been this link, her, me and then my daughter. A green eyed trio.
I am worst friend to gripe to about your mom. As much as I try I can not muster any sympathy for the tribulations of that relationship, and all I want to do is scream childishly "At least you have a mom!"
So, for the love of God, spend time with your mom. Enjoy her quirks, and enjoy having a parent. If you don't want her anymore................
My friends who have moms are so lucky, in most cases. Sure there are moms that are nothin' but trouble, but for the most part having a mom is a really great thing. Especially having one near by. I can't imagine how different my life would have been if my mom was still alive. I think of all the things we would have enjoyed together, how we would have shared our lives and had so much fun together. How we would have been this link, her, me and then my daughter. A green eyed trio.
I am worst friend to gripe to about your mom. As much as I try I can not muster any sympathy for the tribulations of that relationship, and all I want to do is scream childishly "At least you have a mom!"
So, for the love of God, spend time with your mom. Enjoy her quirks, and enjoy having a parent. If you don't want her anymore................
Monday, August 2, 2010
"If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else."
In life we hardly ever know where we are headed. We know where we would like to go, but hardly ever where we are actually headed.
The quote above is attributed to Yogi Berra, as so many great quotes are. I especially like: "I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early." That is how I like to live my life. I know that I will make mistakes, so I plan ahead for potentially having to fix mistakes or live with them. Not being perfect, and screwing up royally is the human, and I am as human as they come.
But I am learning. Right now I am working on accepting faults and mistakes in others, and on overlooking it.
Whew. Its a hard one.
The quote above is attributed to Yogi Berra, as so many great quotes are. I especially like: "I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early." That is how I like to live my life. I know that I will make mistakes, so I plan ahead for potentially having to fix mistakes or live with them. Not being perfect, and screwing up royally is the human, and I am as human as they come.
But I am learning. Right now I am working on accepting faults and mistakes in others, and on overlooking it.
Whew. Its a hard one.
Friday, June 25, 2010
My senior check list!
It is really going to happen.
Yesterday reality sort of slapped us in the face. We received in the mail a letter from our local high school, with a senior check list. It contained dates and reminders of things that needs to be done throughout senior year, so that our daughter can graduate. I wanted to throw it away. Trying not to be a complete ostrich about this, but holy crap!
So here is my senior check list:
June 24th: Start process of convincing daughter that local junior college really would be a great choice.
July 4th: go into her room while she is on vacation and try to feel what it would be like to have her not really live there anymore. Hide in bathroom while sobbing.
August : Count the end days of summer.
October: She is really a senior. Practice the "it's no so bad" mantra.
December: enjoy the pre holiday rituals with daughter around every day for the last time. Try to convince younger son to partake so he can fill in next year. (probability 50/50)
February: keep talking up our local colleges
March: start drinking heavily
April: planning graduation party, while secretly hoping she somehow does not graduate through some fluke
May: ......................OMG!
I am not one of those moms that live through my children. But I am one of those moms that really really really wants my children in my daily life. Our lives are heading towards a fork in the road, and we are going to start heading in different directions. No choice about it really, and there are sure to be so many great things to come down the pike.
When you get to the fork in the road; Take it!
Yesterday reality sort of slapped us in the face. We received in the mail a letter from our local high school, with a senior check list. It contained dates and reminders of things that needs to be done throughout senior year, so that our daughter can graduate. I wanted to throw it away. Trying not to be a complete ostrich about this, but holy crap!
So here is my senior check list:
June 24th: Start process of convincing daughter that local junior college really would be a great choice.
July 4th: go into her room while she is on vacation and try to feel what it would be like to have her not really live there anymore. Hide in bathroom while sobbing.
August : Count the end days of summer.
October: She is really a senior. Practice the "it's no so bad" mantra.
December: enjoy the pre holiday rituals with daughter around every day for the last time. Try to convince younger son to partake so he can fill in next year. (probability 50/50)
February: keep talking up our local colleges
March: start drinking heavily
April: planning graduation party, while secretly hoping she somehow does not graduate through some fluke
May: ......................OMG!
I am not one of those moms that live through my children. But I am one of those moms that really really really wants my children in my daily life. Our lives are heading towards a fork in the road, and we are going to start heading in different directions. No choice about it really, and there are sure to be so many great things to come down the pike.
When you get to the fork in the road; Take it!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Fam time.
I love Sundays. Especially the Sundays that we spend together as a family. At our house it is an unspoken rule, I guess, that we all try to keep Sundays open and spend them together. Even the kids like to keep to the house on Sundays. The come home at eleven from sleepovers, and the rest of the day is laid back and relaxed.
Our daughter told me yesterday that she just loves being "with the fam." And for a moment my life was bliss. Because who does not want to hear from their child that they are happy to be home, and to be with the family? I hear other moms complaining about how their kids are never home, and about how their kids sulk and grump about when made to be with the family.
I hope that we will all get together often after the kids move out. I am sure we will.
I am also sure that I will be the one stuck with the clean up after all the family fun times. They love being with the fam until the dishes need to be done. Or until laundry needs folded. Then they scatter to parts unknown. So here is a bit of advice to new mothers: if the house ever gets too loud and the teens too energetic, and you just want a few minutes to yourself, yell out "can someone help me ___________(fill in the blank) please?" It will be a ghostly quiet, and not a soul will be anywhere near you. You are guaranteed at least 10 minutes of quiet. If they start creeping out from their hiding places, grumble a lot and loudly, and they will scatter again.
Priceless!
Our daughter told me yesterday that she just loves being "with the fam." And for a moment my life was bliss. Because who does not want to hear from their child that they are happy to be home, and to be with the family? I hear other moms complaining about how their kids are never home, and about how their kids sulk and grump about when made to be with the family.
I hope that we will all get together often after the kids move out. I am sure we will.
I am also sure that I will be the one stuck with the clean up after all the family fun times. They love being with the fam until the dishes need to be done. Or until laundry needs folded. Then they scatter to parts unknown. So here is a bit of advice to new mothers: if the house ever gets too loud and the teens too energetic, and you just want a few minutes to yourself, yell out "can someone help me ___________(fill in the blank) please?" It will be a ghostly quiet, and not a soul will be anywhere near you. You are guaranteed at least 10 minutes of quiet. If they start creeping out from their hiding places, grumble a lot and loudly, and they will scatter again.
Priceless!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Zip it!
I am an avid fan of the RHNY. If you don't know what that means, stop reading now, and come back tomorrow for a topic that might actually interest you.
Kelly Bensimon fascinates me, and I have become quite adept at impersonating her. "Honestly Reader, Honestly.......this is what people hate about me, I can't stand all the feelings. It's like white noise." " What is this? 1979 - free to be you and me?" That woman is a treasure. She wears shirts as dresses, runs in Manhattan traffic like a freaked deer,has lockjaw I think, and yells "Al Sharpton" over and over and laughs like an 85 year old smoker for no apparent reason. She has two children, but can't make pancakes. At least I can do that. I don't, but I could is the point!
Like I so often say; If I can't laugh at other people, who am I to laugh at?
Kelly Bensimon fascinates me, and I have become quite adept at impersonating her. "Honestly Reader, Honestly.......this is what people hate about me, I can't stand all the feelings. It's like white noise." " What is this? 1979 - free to be you and me?" That woman is a treasure. She wears shirts as dresses, runs in Manhattan traffic like a freaked deer,has lockjaw I think, and yells "Al Sharpton" over and over and laughs like an 85 year old smoker for no apparent reason. She has two children, but can't make pancakes. At least I can do that. I don't, but I could is the point!
Like I so often say; If I can't laugh at other people, who am I to laugh at?
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Grieving is ugly business
A friend of mine, someone I really care about and admire, recently lost a close relative. Such loss is always difficult. Sometimes the most difficult part is the disappointment in other relatives. Many people tend to show their true colors under duress, and relationships falter after such trauma. People sometimes become greedy, and selfish, and refuse to wait a while before making decisions about estates and belongings.
I still have items from my mom, and other relatives that I really don't need. But it gives me comfort. I like seeing my moms sweater in my closet, to me it proves that she was here. That she was real.
Different people handle grief differently, and at different speeds. I hope I remember that the next time.........
I am so sorry.
I still have items from my mom, and other relatives that I really don't need. But it gives me comfort. I like seeing my moms sweater in my closet, to me it proves that she was here. That she was real.
Different people handle grief differently, and at different speeds. I hope I remember that the next time.........
I am so sorry.
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