"If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else."

In life we hardly ever know where we are headed. We know where we would like to go, but hardly ever where we are actually headed.
The quote above is attributed to Yogi Berra, as so many great quotes are. I especially like: "I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early." That is how I like to live my life. I know that I will make mistakes, so I plan ahead for potentially having to fix mistakes or live with them. Not being perfect, and screwing up royally is the human, and I am as human as they come.
But I am learning. Right now I am working on accepting faults and mistakes in others, and on overlooking it.

Whew. Its a hard one.

My senior check list!

It is really going to happen.
Yesterday reality sort of slapped us in the face. We received in the mail a letter from our local high school, with a senior check list. It contained dates and reminders of things that needs to be done throughout senior year, so that our daughter can graduate. I wanted to throw it away. Trying not to be a complete ostrich about this, but holy crap!

So here is my senior check list:

June 24th: Start process of convincing daughter that local junior college really would be a great choice.

July 4th: go into her room while she is on vacation and try to feel what it would be like to have her not really live there anymore. Hide in bathroom while sobbing.

August : Count the end days of summer.

October: She is really a senior. Practice the "it's no so bad" mantra.

December: enjoy the pre holiday rituals with daughter around every day for the last time. Try to convince younger son to partake so he can fill in next year. (probability 50/50)

February: keep talking up our local colleges

March: start drinking heavily

April: planning graduation party, while secretly hoping she somehow does not graduate through some fluke

May: ......................OMG!

I am not one of those moms that live through my children. But I am one of those moms that really really really wants my children in my daily life. Our lives are heading towards a fork in the road, and we are going to start heading in different directions. No choice about it really, and there are sure to be so many great things to come down the pike.

When you get to the fork in the road; Take it!

Fam time.

I love Sundays. Especially the Sundays that we spend together as a family. At our house it is an unspoken rule, I guess, that we all try to keep Sundays open and spend them together. Even the kids like to keep to the house on Sundays. The come home at eleven from sleepovers, and the rest of the day is laid back and relaxed.
Our daughter told me yesterday that she just loves being "with the fam." And for a moment my life was bliss. Because who does not want to hear from their child that they are happy to be home, and to be with the family? I hear other moms complaining about how their kids are never home, and about how their kids sulk and grump about when made to be with the family.
I hope that we will all get together often after the kids move out. I am sure we will.

I am also sure that I will be the one stuck with the clean up after all the family fun times. They love being with the fam until the dishes need to be done. Or until laundry needs folded. Then they scatter to parts unknown. So here is a bit of advice to new mothers: if the house ever gets too loud and the teens too energetic, and you just want a few minutes to yourself, yell out "can someone help me ___________(fill in the blank) please?" It will be a ghostly quiet, and not a soul will be anywhere near you. You are guaranteed at least 10 minutes of quiet. If they start creeping out from their hiding places, grumble a lot and loudly, and they will scatter again.

Priceless!

Zip it!

I am an avid fan of the RHNY. If you don't know what that means, stop reading now, and come back tomorrow for a topic that might actually interest you.

Kelly Bensimon fascinates me, and I have become quite adept at impersonating her. "Honestly Reader, Honestly.......this is what people hate about me, I can't stand all the feelings. It's like white noise." " What is this? 1979 - free to be you and me?" That woman is a treasure. She wears shirts as dresses, runs in Manhattan traffic like a freaked deer,has lockjaw I think, and yells "Al Sharpton" over and over and laughs like an 85 year old smoker for no apparent reason. She has two children, but can't make pancakes. At least I can do that. I don't, but I could is the point!

Like I so often say; If I can't laugh at other people, who am I to laugh at?

Grieving is ugly business

A friend of mine, someone I really care about and admire, recently lost a close relative. Such loss is always difficult. Sometimes the most difficult part is the disappointment in other relatives. Many people tend to show their true colors under duress, and relationships falter after such trauma. People sometimes become greedy, and selfish, and refuse to wait a while before making decisions about estates and belongings.

I still have items from my mom, and other relatives that I really don't need. But it gives me comfort. I like seeing my moms sweater in my closet, to me it proves that she was here. That she was real.

Different people handle grief differently, and at different speeds. I hope I remember that the next time.........

I am so sorry.

Reminders are great

A friend of mine announced on Facebook that she had started a blog, and that reminded me that I actually have a BLOG. Wow - how quickly one forgets..............

Life is happening real fast right now. The kids are running around with a lot of activities, and my husband started his own hobby. Everyone is happy and healthy, and summer starts next week when school is finally out.

You really should check out my friends cooking blog, but since its in another language you may not get a lot out of it. I like it though. Good Luck pal.

I can't get no satisfaction.

I am doing something terrible; terribly hard that is. I am cutting my chocolate habit, and going back to my childhood rules. Candy happens on Saturday. I remember planning my candy for days in advance. Knowing the prices of everything, and how much money I would be given was serious business. The flavors, the moods, it all had to go together perfectly. I am a candy connoiseur, and take it quite seriously. But now that I have found out that I have a health issue (that has its own ribbon - not pink!), it might just be time to grow up. Other people my age drink wine, and become quite knowledgable about that. I can tell you what chocolate go with what heart break, or what time of the month. No nuts at that time of the month; just a king size hershey bar, or in a pinch some hershey kisses although all the silver wrappings will make you hate yourself in the morning. Hide them under other trash, especially at the office. You don't want others to know about your Problem!!

Quitting smoking feels like a walk in the park next to this. I LOVE chocolate more than most people love oxygen.
Chocolate - for when you can't have sex!
Chocolate - for when life brings you down.
Chocolate - for when life brought you up!

Chocolate is consolation, reward, love and celebration all rolled into one.
I am also supposed to give up caffeine - Fat chance! That is the only thing keeping my family alive right now.
I'm not kidding!

Crazy picked me too

You know how life comes at ya real fast, and then all of sudden you are behind the eightball, and you just keep dancing around the bush while something rotten happens in Denmark?
Yeah - me neither. But that is just about how confused I am about life these days.

There is nowhere to go but up.